There are events and triggers which give shape to ideals in your life. Not the 'SAVE THE WORLD' types but the smaller and more important ones I guess. As I grew younger I watched I understood and I remembered. What ? How circumstantial responses work and how consistency of your reaction defines you.
Forks on the way provided variety and the more I saw the greater was my scope. I was comfortable with my judgements and construction of my behaviourial flowchart.Blips where consistent on the ECG machine. Assasination of Rajiv Gandhi, Gulf War, Kargil, India losing to Pakistan again at Sharjah, floods in Kolkata, Bombay riots, Windows 3.1 etc etc
'But hey, whats the huge one ?', 'O! thats just the nuclear fission reaction in my family.' It needed to happen but what it forced was a major re-structuring of my flowchart and I was confused. The only support I had from within myself then was neutrality.
Neutrality to judge my bias of human decency.
The packed up boxes which I had kept preserved as priceless belongings revealed themselves as mutated victims of the fallout.The propensity which I had developed was unfailingly attacked by the mutants and still does. So now I think were they infected or this is their original form and I was blind to the indigenous skin. The wavelength of the colours in the pretty picture which my early years had painted became as random as particles in Brownian Motion.
'Welcome to the dark side'.
The metamorphosis was inexplicable to me, might be a pretty normal phenomenon everywhere. But I did not want it to happen and regretted witnessing it as a third party coz my circumstances protected me. I guess this variation of my so called flowchart could have come in a different, hopefully in a more comme il faut, way.
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